Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
