So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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