it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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