i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
