I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
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Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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