What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
