i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize