We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
