Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
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I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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