margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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