He had one of those small greek statue penises
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
