did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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