addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
