she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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