woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Hello my rib-scented angel!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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