How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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