Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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