weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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