I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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