another moral hangover. fuck.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
