Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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