Your mouth is God's brothel.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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