if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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