I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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