You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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