I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
