Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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