oh god the rape fog is back!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
