theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
