Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
