I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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