a queef is a wish your heart makes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
