Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
