We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
