Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
