I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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