happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
