Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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