I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
