What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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