how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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