32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
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I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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