well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
