you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
