My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
