Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
