I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
