Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
