remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize