capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
