A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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