puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize