yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Randomize
