tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish you could order shots online.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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