all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
