I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
