Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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