she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
