Dual....:-)
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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