what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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