I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
