I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize