that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
