I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
