drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
